


No Pain-No Gain

by sans_souci2



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, episode 17 coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:31:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sans_souci2/pseuds/sans_souci2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to the Pro Bowl episode. Danny is the one who winds up taking Steve back to the hospital. Steve needs surgery and Danny sticks around to see him through it. Feelings and secrets slip out. Oh and there's a fair amount of Steve whumpage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They both watch Catherine’s Corvette peel out of the stadium parking lot. For different reasons neither of them says anything.

Being from where he’s from and having spent the past three years trying to figure the guy next to him out, Danny’s the first one to break the silence. “So you’re not pissed that she’s on her way to pick up Kono and go party with a bunch of professional football players?”

“No, of course not.”

The way Steve rears back and looks kind of indignant convinces Danny.

_Okay so the guy’s not pissed._

That little grimace after he rears back begs for further questioning, though. “Okay so you’re not pissed about the partying–how about the fact you told her, most uncharacteristically and at least in my mind, somewhat alarmingly, that you needed to see a doctor?” Danny gets right up in Steve’s face for his answer, “You’re saying you’re okay with her giving you a peck on the cheek and taking off after you admit to _that_?”

“Danny. I don’t need Catherine to take care of me-I can take care of myself. Since I don't have a car though is there any chance you can stop the twenty questions and give me a ride to Hickam?”

“Hickam?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong with someplace a little closer-say like Queens?”

“I get free medical care at Hickam.”

“But is it good medical care?”

“Danny all I’m asking for is a ride. Please.”  
_____~____

_Bay 5-Hickham Air Force Base Hospital Trauma Department_

“Okay so far this place is pretty impressive. I got to tell you Steve, it beats the hell out of any ER I’ve ever been in. We waited what? Less than five minutes before they brought you back here?”

“Something like that. Now for the hundredth time, get out of here. You don’t need to wait around.”

“Yes I do-trust me. I know what can happen in a hospital-“

“Danny come on-just go.”

“Go? No way will I go. Do you have any idea how many incorrect procedures are performed on poor hapless patients every year?”

“No but I’m sure I’m about to find out.”

“Let’s just say it’s in the millions.”

Before Steve can tell Danny that he’ll be fine one more time, the door to their bay whirrs opens and a tall, brown haired man wearing a white coat over green scrubs walks in. “Commander McGarrett, I’m Colonel Faulkner. I head up the orthopedics service here. I understand you injured your shoulder?”

“Yes sir I did.”

For some reason Danny’s instantly not keen on the guy but the way Steve practically jumps to attention for him makes him keep quiet.

Forty-five minutes later-

“Okay bottom line, Commander, you shredded your rotator cuff and you need it fixed. I can add you in tomorrow sometime around two. Best move on your part is to let me admit you now so my crew can prep you and manage your pain, which, based on your MRI is going to get worse You won’t be able to eat or drink after midnight so we’ll start an IV to keep you hydrated. By tomorrow at this time the surgery will be over and you’ll be on the road to recovery.”

“Sign me up,” Steve says without any hesitation.

It’s got to be the doc’s military style that’s throwing Steve or maybe it’s the guy’s promise of a quick fix that’s short circuiting his brain. Whatever it is-Danny needs to talk some sense into him.

Thankfully Faulkner excuses himself to do the paperwork he has to to get Steve admitted. As soon as the door closes behind him Danny makes his pitch for a saner game plan. “You may want to slow down a little babe. The guy’s talking about slicing you open. You sure you want to have that done here?”

“Of course I’m sure.”

“Look I know you – I know you want to be sidelined for the least amount of time possible so Colonel Klink’s offer of a quick fix sounds pretty damn good to you but hear me out. When my pop needed his hip replaced we checked out all the docs in our neck of the woods who did the procedure and guess what? There was a huge difference between them in terms of how their patients fared. Some had a 5% infection rate; some had 35%. It got even scarier when we looked at stats like revisions needed within three years.”

“Danny-what the hell are you trying to say?”

“What I _am_ saying is I don’t want you letting just anyone slice you open.”

“I appreciate that-really I do. But I have faith in military medicine-it hasn’t let me down yet. I want to get this thing fixed-not go to endless doctor’s appointments and be sent for MRIs or CTs or whatever and then have to wait who knows how long to finally have the surgery.”

“I get that really I do. I’m just saying not all surgeons get the same results. I want you back in fighting form as fast as possible too. I just want to be sure that this doc is the one we want doing the honors.”

“I appreciate that. Really I do. How about we compromise. I go ahead and let them admit me and prep me and in the meantime you do a little research on Faulkner-if you find anything concerning I’ll tell him I changed my mind, call a cab and go home. Does that work for you?”

“Forget the part about the cab-I'm your damn driver, okay? As far as the general game plan, I guess it's better than nothing. I just hope I can find the info I need-I’m not so sure military docs are in the databases I searched when I was helping my dad.

“Well see what you can find. I just want to get into a room, have a big dinner and then get knocked out for the night.”

“Whoa-you might want to think twice about a big dinner on the night before surgery, that is, if you have surgery.”

“Why? You heard the man, nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Why wouldn't I want a big dinner?”

“Well I’m not sure how you handle anesthesia. Turns out lots of folks get a little sick- some get really sick. The less you have in your stomach going in-the less you have to lose if you do get sick. “

“I’m not going to get sick.”

“Oh you know that?”

“Yes I know that. “

“And how is that?”

“I know it because I hate throwing up- make that I detest it. Last time I did it I was in junior high.”

“Whoa-that’s impressive. So you’re counting on what? Sheer willpower to keep from doing any up-chucking?”

“Sheer willpower- a tough stomach, I don't know, take your choice. I just know I’m not tossing cookies tomorrow and I am eating a decent dinner tonight. “

“Fine-go ahead.”

Danny has the feeling it’s going to be a very long night as he heads to car to grab his laptop.

______~______

“So look at you all comfy and cozy,”

Danny says it with a big smile as he hurries into Steve’s room but the smile’s pretty much a fake. It throws him to see Steve look the way he does. He’d left him in the ER and gone to the lobby to do his research because the damn wifi was on the fritz. Now an hour later Steve’s in a hospital gown and in a hospital bed with his arm not only in a sling but propped on pillows and he looks- well he looks like a patient. The only encouraging thing Danny sees is a nearly empty dinner tray in front of him. “You doing okay, buddy?” he asks worriedly.

The grin Steve flashes at him loosens the knot in his stomach.

“I’m good-you good, Danno?”

His slurred speech makes Danny flat out laugh. “What they do? Give you a couple of beers with that dinner?”

“No but they gave me a shot in my butt and you know what?”

“What?”

“Now my shoulder doesn’t hurt.”

“So what do you know? I’m guessing you just might be a little high?”

“Relaxed Danny, I’m a little relaxed. They told me they gave me something to help me _re-lax._ ”

“Well I’m glad to hear it,” Danny squeezes Steve’s good shoulder as he says it because it just seems like the right thing to do.

The slightly loopy smile Steve gives him tells him he was right.

“I really appreciate all you’re doing for me, D. I really do...”

It’s like there’s something else Steve wants to say the way he lets his words trail off and looks down at his arm. Danny gives him a minute and then says “Hey I’m happy to do it-what are friends for?”

Whatever Steve was thinking must have gotten tucked away in that highly compartmentalized mind of his because when he looks up he asks, “So what did you find out?”

All too well used to Steve's self-redirects Danny answers. “To be honest, nothing too terrible. Your doctor went to a good med school, has never been sued or had any disciplinary actions taken against him. He’s moved up through the ranks pretty damn fast. He’s gone to a shit load of continuing education conferences and even spoken as a keynote speaker at a fair number of them. Far as I can tell he’s a decent doc.”

“So there you go. See, my doc’s a good doc,” Steve says, licking his fingers to get the last of the barbeque sauce off of them. “You should ask if you could get some of this chicken, D. It’s fantastic.”

“I believe you seeing as you’ve just about picked the bones clean. What else they give you?”

“Mashed potatoes, green beans, peaches and uh…” Steve peels the saran wrap off a small dish, “chocolate pudding! I love pudding.”

“Well isn’t this your lucky day-go ahead, don’t let me stop you, eat up.”

Steve takes a spoonful of pudding and makes a hmmm sound as he swallows it.” Licking his lips again, “This is the best.”

“Well enjoy it, it’s the last solid food you’re going to have for a while.”

That wipes the smile off Steve’s face, “Not for that long. Faulkner said two o'clock for the surgery. I should be back in this room having dinner by this time tomorrow .”

“Don’t count on it.”

“Why?”

“Never mind you big goof, just enjoy your pudding.”

“Why are you always so negative?”

“I prefer to think of it as realistic but seriously, never mind. You finish your yummy pudding-I’m going to go grab something from the cafeteria.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m hungry?”

“No, I mean why not get something on your way home-I know you’re not a big fan of cafeterias. Although I gotta say, this place makes great food.”

“So I hear. And you’re right I’m not a big fan but seeing as I plan to keep you company tonight I’ll just have to make do.”

“What are you talking about, Danny?”

“I didn’t make it up when I told you millions of wrong procedures are performed every year in hospitals. I plan to make sure you don’t become a statistic.”

“That is crazy. What are you going to do? Sleep in that chair?”

“This chair for your information folds out into a very comfortable cot. I used one just like it when Rachel had Grace. I already asked your nurse to bring me a pillow and some blankets later on.”

“Danny, I’m 35 years old. My mom stayed in the room with me when I had my tonsils out. You do not need to stay with me the night before they even do anything to me.”

“It’s the most dangerous time Steven. While you’re in la la land on some sweet sedative; they could come in here and wheel you down for brain surgery and you’d be none the wiser.”

“Man you really do worry too much.”

“Only when it comes to people I really care about.”

That makes Steve lie back and smile. “You care about me?”

“Yes I do, I care… a lot. Now let me go –I’m starving.”

“Okay dokie. Hey bring me back a candy bar okay? A Snickers!”

“Oye vay, you are in rare form tonight.”

“Don’t forget my Snickers!”

“Heaven forbid,” Danny says as he walks out the door.

________________________~~~~~~~____________________

 

“So what’s going on?” Danny asks, feeling instantly anxious when he gets back to Steve’s room and sees a nurse leaning over him..

“Hey Danny, I’m getting an IV.”

“So I see. And you sound… _happy_ about it?”

“I’m a positive guy Danny, no need to sound any other way.”

“Whoa. Uh nurse? Can I have whatever you’re giving him? To go?"

“I know it’s good stuff, right?”

“Incredible stuff, I'd say. I’m Danny by the way. Steve’s partner.”

The shocked look on the nurse’s face almost cracks Danny up. “Work partner that is,” he tells her pointing to the badge on his belt.

“Oh. Oh. Okay. I thought you meant-”

It's an honest mistake that makes Danny feel just a little bit ecstatic deep down inside. Smiling, he helps her out by changing the subject, “It’s nice to meet you, and you are?”

“Nicole,” she answers.

“Nicole is a Lieutenant as well as a nurse,” Steve offers proudly.

“Well isn’t that nice. How long have you been in the…”

“Air Force,” Steve finishes for Danny.

“Five years,” she answers then warns Steve, “Okay now Lt. Commander, just a little stick.”

Danny has to look away. He’s not a big fan of watching needles that long being slid into the back of anyone’s hand.

Especially not if the anyone is Steve.

“There, all done,” Nicole says.

Mr. Pain-What Pain? pipes up with, “I didn’t even feel it.”

Danny wants to throttle him.

“Good, I'm glad,” Nicole says taping down the IV tubing. “This is just normal saline to keep you hydrated, no meds or anything. The good news is I can give you your pain medicine through the line and won’t have to give you any more shots.”

“I appreciate that,” Steve says rubbing his hip.

“No problem. Now don’t forget what I told you-use this to pee.” She taps a urinal hooked over the bed-railing. “You might be a little loopy and fall if you get up. If you absolutely need to use the toilet call for help or have your friend help you. No solo missions okay?”

Steve looks a little embarrassed when he nods ok.

“You need anything before I go?”

“No. No, I’m good.”

They’re both quiet until she’s out of the room.

“You don’t like being told what to do, do you?” Danny asks.

“I don’t like being told how to pee.”

“I’m with you on that-some parts of being a patient suck. However, not all, as in-“ Danny reaches into the bag he’s holding, “Viola! You get to have a candy bar in bed.”

Steve’s smile is back. “You remembered. Thanks.”

“Of course I remembered.”

Steve watches Danny curiously as he sits down and unwraps his dinner. “What is that?”

“This is a Deluxe Cheeseburger with bacon and mushrooms. Hey can I borrow your tray table?”

“Be my guest. But only if I can have a bite.”

“You just had dinner and you've got a Snickers.”

“But that looks really good.”

“Fine. Here.”

Danny gives Steve the burger and while he’s taking his bite rolls the tray table over to the recliner and lowers it. “Give me back my cheeseburger,” he says holding out his hand.

“Man, tha’s really goo, Danny."

“Nice to know. Maybe I can have a little of that myself how about it?”

“Fine. Here.”

While Danny eats his dinner, Steve takes his time enjoying the candy bar. They watch TV instead of talking – it’s a comfortable quiet they're used to falling into by now. Danny’s gathering up his trash and wiping his mouth with a napkin when he looks over at Steve.

_Would you just look at that guy?_

Mr. Big Strong SEAL looks like a little kid. His head’s back against the pillow, his eyes are closed and his mouth is hanging open. There’s even a smudge of chocolate on his chin. Danny tiptoes over and daubs at it with his napkin.

“Wha?”

“Go back to sleep. I’m just getting some chocolate off your face.”

“I fell… a-sleep?”

“Yep. Good drugs tend to make that happen.”

“Whew one minute I was watchin’ tha game and the next I was out.”

“Well how about you just lay back and let that happen again.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I got my laptop-I got stuff to do.”

“You really don’ hav’ta to stay.”

“I heard you the first time but I’m going to, so shut up.”

Steve huffs, settling back and closing his eyes, “Suit yourself.”

“Thank you I will.”

A few minutes later, “Dan…ny?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you for doin’this.”

“My pleasure.”

“I mean I really messed up your day an’ now your night.”

“You did no such thing.” Danny shrugs, “I got nothing else to do-Grace is off on her trip with Rachel. Plus like I been telling you-this is what friends do for each other.”

Steve give him a sleepy smile and mumbles, “You're my bes' friend, D.”

“Go to sleep you nutcase.”

_____________~__________

 

At about 11:30 Steve starts to resurface. Danny hears him stirring and watches quietly from the recliner.

_God he looks good even in a hospital gown._

_Look at him._

As if on cue the tip of Steve’s tongue makes a lazy sweep across his lower lip. Then he swallows and shifts under the covers and as wrong as it is, Danny could honestly sit there and watch him like this all night. After a while Steve turns his head so he’s facing Danny and blearily opens his eyes.

Talk about a quick end to the wanting to watch all him night thing.

“Uh…ahhhh,” Steve groans, reaching for his shoulder.

Danny had been worried this might happen. Shit. He leaps up and leans over the bed rail, knowing the answer but asking anyway, “You hurting babe?”

“Just a... lit-tle,” Steve grits out, looking confused.

“I’ll get your nurse in here with some of that good stuff,” Danny says, already pressing Steve’s call button.

Steve doesn’t say anything. He’s trying to deep breathe his way through the pain but he’s shredded tendons and ligaments in the last few hours and bled into places not meant to have their volume increased by even a teaspoon, all of which can create a world of hurt. His face is dotted with sweat by the time the nurse rushes in. It’s a guy this time, which isn’t important. What is important is he’s got a syringe in his hand and as soon as he swipes a hand held device over Steve’s wristband he connects the syringe to the IV tubing and presses down on the plunger. As he’s injecting the medicine he asks, “What level is you pain, Lt. Commander?”

Steve gives him a confused, What the hell? kind of look.

“On a scale of one to ten?”

“Ten for Pete’s sake,” Danny snaps. “This is the guy who walks out of jungles with broken ribs and a bruised kidney and a smile on his face.”

“Would that be right, sir? Ten?”

“No... more like six.”

“Okay, I’ll give you this now to get it under control. Once you’re more comfortable, I’ll give you something longer acting. I’ll be back to check on you in around ten minutes.”

Steve nods, closes his eyes, and goes back to deep breathing his way around the pain.

Ever so slowly, way too slowly, in Danny’s opinion, the medicine starts to work. He can’t believe the relief he feels when the lines across Steve’s forehead and around his eyes soften. “There you go buddy, that’s it,” he murmurs to Steve. It just feels right to lean over him the way he’s doing and run his fingers across his forehead and down his cheek.

Finally Steve takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey yourself.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Other than the fact you were hurting big time?”

“I was not hurting big time.”

“Oh really? Then what were you doing?”

“I was... uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable makes your sweat and turn kinda grey?”

“Danny come on it wasn’t a big deal.”

Before Danny can correct Steve his nurse comes back in with another syringe. “This is Dilaudid,” he tells them, it’s like morphine but even stronger. It should keep you pretty comfortable..”

“Good,” Danny says, “so how long does that stuff last?”

The nurse tells him four to six hours while he taps the numbers on the front of Steve’s IV pump. After asking if they need anything else, he takes off.

“Don’t worry. I got you covered,” Danny says pulling out his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“You my friend are not going to wake up uncomfortable again because yours truly will be waking up before that happens and calling the nurse for another shot of that stuff.”

“Wow Danny you really over think some things.”

“Just wait, you’ll be thanking me.”

A soft huff is all Steve can manage before he closes his eyes.

Danny shakes his head at his macho man partner. The guy is a goof.

It’s time to get some shut eye.

Danny takes off his shirt and shoes and socks and belt and turns the recliner into a cot. The minute he lays down and pulls a blanket up over him his eyes drift shut.

Funny the way worrying about someone you love exhausts you.  
_____~______

It turns out the whole alarm setting thing is unnecessary.

“Danny?”

“What?” he’s awake instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. I just can’t sleep.”

“You’re kidding-you’re not hurting?”

“No, I’m okay. I’m just wide awake.”

“And so now, I am too.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey don’t be, I just like to pull your chain. You want to ask the nurse for a sleeping pill or something?”

“Maybe in a little while… if I still can’t sleep. I don’t really like those things they give me crazy dreams.”

Danny feels like he’s having a little bit of a crazy dream right now himself. Steve’s hospital gown came untied somehow and has slid half way down his gorgeous chest. His hair is tousled and with his arm propped up he looks vulnerable and helpless and yeah, hot as hell. It’s enough to stir up trouble in someone’s khakis, for Pete’s sake.

“Okay so no sleeping pill for you, yet. You want to watch TV?”

“There’s not going to be anything worth watching at this time of night on those channels.” Steve nods at the meager list of channels taped to the side of the TV set.

“You’re probably right. Hey, I know. I got some movies on my Mac.”

“You do?”

Danny’s already getting it from the case, “Yeah, I do.”

“What kind of movies?”

“All kinds. I got shoot em up action flicks, I got tear jerkers, I even got stuff Gracie likes.”

“Well let’s have a look , what are you waiting for.”

“Patience, jeez.” Danny clears off Steve’s tray table and plunks his Mac down. Here you go.” He opens the computer, taps on the keyboard and the screen fills with movie titles. “Go ahead, take your pick,”

“Whoa! Danny? You buy all these?”

A little sheepishly, “No.”

“So how’d you get them?”

“Uh, let’s just say Toast was feeling very generous.”

“Oh man you could get in big trouble for this. I should turn you in.”

“Then you wouldn’t have any movies to watch. Come on, pick one out.”

They settle on the one about the operation that took down Osama bin Laden.

Talk about a perfect movie for a SEAL and former intelligence officer.

Steve’s eyes are glued on the screen from about minute two.

Danny’s happy that he likes the flick but he’s seen it already so he's only pretending to watch it as he watches Steve.

God would you look at him?

For the second time in twenty-four hours he thinks to himself he could do this all night.

For the second time he gets proven wrong.

This time it’s for a much less dramatic reason.

It’s warm in the room and he hasn’t slept yet so just before Jessica Chastain’s character informs the CIA director that she’s the fucker who found Bin Laden, Danny’s eyes close. A few minutes later he’s snoring softly.

Too bad he’ll never know about the soft little smile Steve gives him.

“Awesome movie,” Steve says out loud a half hour later while the credits roll. Oddly he's not quite sleepy enough to turn out the light so he starts to play around with Danny’s laptop-going on the Internet to check the news and see if any of his teams did anything worthwhile today.

It’s all innocent. Honestly it is.

He doesn’t use Macs that often though, and without meaning to he finds himself in a directory of some kind. One of the folders is marked Work Expenses-2012. He only opens it because he can’t believe Danny would be so organized.

Turns out he’s not.

A list of websites, not expenses, fills the screen. He recognizes a lot of them-even sees some of his favorites. As he scrolls down the list a grin spreads across his face. He shakes his head as he glances over at Danny who's still asleep.

“Who knew?” Steve whispers to himself, quickly exiting the folder and closing Danny's laptop. He wants to just lie there and wrap his head around his amazing discovery but his shoulder is starting to throb again. He lasts ten minutes before he gives in and presses his call button. The nurse is the same one as before and shows up right away with more Dilaudid. He asks the same 'How would you rate your pain?' question and Steve answers six right away. It takes a little while for the pain to let up enough for him to get back to thinking about Danny. A slow smile spreads across his face when he does.

"Who knew?" he whispers again in the dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Danny’s no novice when it comes to surgery.

His dad had a hip replaced just a few years ago; his mom had her gall bladder out when he was in college. Add to that at least half a dozen buddies he knows back on the force in Jersey who wound up on a surgical ward.  
  
He’s even gone under the knife himself thanks to a loser in Hoboken with absolutely zero impulse control. He remembers how rocky his parents and buddies looked after their surgery and he’ll never forget the breath stealing pain when he first woke up from his.  
  
So yeah, he’s no greenhorn; he knows what to expect. Steve can come out puking or in pain or just pale as hell-he'll be ready.  
  
 _Funny how you don’t know what you don’t know._  
  
“Mr. Williams?”  
  
A woman's voice coming from the other side of the room pulls him front and center. He doesn’t have to look to know it’s the silver haired volunteer in the pink smock who’s been calling families to the information desk ever since he’s been here. He does look, of course, and sees Faulkner standing in front of the desk all but obscuring his view of the woman.  
  
The surgeon who looks like a more grown up version of Doogie Howser has on the same green scrubs as in the ER minus the white coat and plus a surgical cap. Without the coat and with his arms folded across his chest the way they are, the impressiveness of his biceps is a lot more noticeable. His steeled expression as he scans the room reminds Danny of Steve for some reason.  
  
 _They must train these military guys to make that face._.  
  
Funny thing-more than half the people around Danny are doing the exact same thing Faulkner is. They might be doing it a lot more subtly but they’re doing it just as intently. Glancing over the tops of their newspapers and magazines or pretending to look up at the clock on the wall, they’re looking for whoever just got called to the desk.  
  
It makes no sense but the same weird curiosity ripples through the room every time a name is called.  
  
Second funny thing?  
  
Danny is oblivious to the curious stares.  
  
All he sees is Faulkner's face.  
  
All he wants to do is to get a read on how Steve's surgery went.  
  
 _No such luck._  
  
Faulkner definitely went to same school that taught Steve his impassive, tight lipped stare.  
  
The sports section slides from Danny's lap to the floor. The curious faces and tables littered with coffee cups around him blur as he rushes past them. “So how is he?” he asks Faulkner when he's about two feet away from him.  
  
“Let’s go in here,” Faulkner says nodding toward the conference room Danny's seen plenty of worried folks herded into.  
  
“How about you just answer my question,” Danny hisses.  
  
“He’s fine; the surgery went well. Come on, we can talk in here.”  
  
Faulkner goes in the conference and because he has no choice,Danny follow hims. Dropping down on a couch, Faulkner nods at the chair he wants Danny to take then leans forward resting his elbows on his knees and interlacing his fingers. For some reason Danny's focus moves from his hands to a nickel-sized splatter of red on his scrubs-right above his knee.  
  
 _It's got to be Steve's._ Suddenly Faulkner's voice is coming at him from very far away. "I'm... I'm sorry?", he asks.  
  
"I said Commander McGarrett's surgery went very well."  
  
He had no idea he was going to say it-it just comes out-“Look I’m sorry but it’s Steve, okay? No more Commander McGarrett. Please."  
  
Faulkner is definitely surprised but he takes it in stride, "No problem," he says, "it’s just part of the culture around here."  
  
"I understand but I’m not from around here and I've always known Steve as Steve. Go on-you were saying things went well?"  
  
“That's right, they did. I'm pretty sure that after he rehabs his shoulder, Comman-I mean Steve will have no further problems with it. Now I did wind up having to do the repair through an open incision-there was too much damage to accomplish it laproscopically.”  
  
 _Shit_. Danny chews on his bottom lip trying to remember exactly why that’s not good news. "So there goes the whole faster healing, less pain thing?"  
  
“Theoretically yes. But in a patient as fit and determined as I’m guessing Steve is, I wouldn’t expect his recovery time to be that much longer.”  
  
“But the part about the pain–that’s still true?”  
  
“To some extent, unfortunately, yes. The surgery wound up being pretty extensive. I had to dissect his deltoid muscle and shave off some bone. He’s certainly going to feel it. Once we’re confident his respiratory status is stable, we’ll but him on a PCA-a device that will let him push a button and give himself pain medicine when he needs it.”  
  
“But you are giving him pain medicine now aren’t you?”  
  
“Of course, but cautiously. We need to be sure not to depress his breathing.”  
  
Danny hasn’t been a detective for ten years for nothing. “Wait a minute. What’s all this about his breathing?”  
  
“That’s what I was about to get to. There was a small complication during the case.”  
  
“Which was?”  
  
“First of all he's doing fine right now. I want to stress that. It does however look like he may have aspirated fluid into his lungs."  
  
"May have?"  
  
"Well to be honest, we're pretty sure he did."  
  
“Wait. Slow down. That’s impossible. He didn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight.”  
  
“That’s true but even an empty stomach contains digestive fluids and saliva is, of course, always present in the mouth.”  
  
“So what... what happened?”  
  
"Well the problem was identified after he was ex-tubated and we noticed his oxygenation was low. We put him on supplemental oxygen and he improved but couldn't be weaned off the oxygen. Then he developed a cough which made us suspicious of an aspiration and we ordered a chest x-ray. That's when we saw two areas of opacity in his lower lobes suggestive of an aspiration.”  
  
“But he’s fine now-he’s good?”  
  
“Well, with oxygen he’s good.”  
  
“So what do we do now?  
  
“Basically what we are doing which is watching him closely. We’ll give him some breathing treatments and keep him on oxygen. If, and I don’t expect this to happen, his pulmonary status worsens, we might consider steroids to reduce the inflammation. Most cases like this in a perfectly healthy patient just resolve on their own.”  
  
“Resolve? You mean he stops needing oxygen?”  
  
“And he’ll no longer have a cough or fever.”  
  
"He's got a fever too?"  
  
"Yes, but it's low grade. Right now we think it's just an inflammatory response to the aspirated fluid."  
  
“Jesus. It sounds like he's got an instant case of pneumonia.”  
  
"Basically he does.”  
  
"So let me ask you this- and I know you hate question like this but please, I need to know. Worst case scenario- what could happen?”  
  
Faulkner takes a deep breath then locks eyes with Danny. “I’ll answer that but you have to understand-Steve has none of the risk factors that would predispose him to fall into the worst-case scenario category-none at all.”  
  
“Fine, fine-I get that. So tell me what’s not going to happen to him.”  
  
“What’s not going to happen to him is he’s not going to go into respiratory failure and need a ventilator to breathe for him and his organs aren't going to fail due to a rampant infection.”  
  
“Okay you can stop now seeing as I feel like want to throw up. Can I just see him? Please?”  
  
“Of course. As soon as he’s taken to his room someone will come get you.”  
  
“That’s okay,” Danny says standing up. “I’ll just go wait there for him.”  
  
Faulkner stands too, “Hold on, he won’t be going back to the same room he came from.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Well the pulmonary folks want to keep a close watch on him- he’s going to the step down unit on the second floor.”  
  
“Step down?”  
  
“It means a step down from intensive care-it’s just a precaution.”  
  
 _Yeah right I knew what to expect._ Danny’s stomach is one big knot. “So I do what?" he asks, nodding toward the door. "Wait out there?”  
  
“That’s right but not for long. Here-” Faulkner pulls a business card out his coat pocket and scribbles a phone number on it. “If you don’t hear anything in twenty minutes, page me. Okay?”  
  
“Yeah but I gotta tell you, _okay_ isn’t exactly how I’m feeling right now.”  
  
“I understand that but my prediction is that your friend will be in a regular room by this time tomorrow.”  
  
“From your lips to God’s ears.”  
  
“Don’t I wish I had rights to _that_ frequency.”  
  
The way Faulkner pats Danny on the back after he says it and the way he squeezes his shoulder makes it hard to stay mad at the guy.  
  
 _Okay so it’s not anyone’s fault.  
  
Shit happens.  
  
So why does it always happen to Steve?_  
  
Danny just wants to know.  
  
______~_____  
  
  
Faulkner earns some serious brownie points thirty minutes later when Danny pages him and tells him there’s been no word on Steve. After Faulkner personally goes to the recovery room he finds Danny and tells him it’ll be just a little longer-that they're making sure Steve is comfortable before they send him up to his room.  
  
“Does that mean he’s uncomfortable?”  
  
“A little but they’re taking care of it. To tell the truth-he looks damn good for what he’s been through.”  
  
“I’m not so sure that’s making me feel any better.”  
  
Faulkner takes a careful look at Danny and sees what all the waiting and worrying is doing to him. He's had good buddies of his own scare the bejeezus out of him; he knows that sick to your stomach feeling. “Come on," he says. "I'll take you to the unit. He’ll be there before you know it.”  
  
Not only does Faulkner take Danny to Step Down, he finds the nurse who’s going to be Steve’s nurse and asks her to do him a favor and let Danny wait in the room assigned to him. Her name is Sheila and she’s somewhere in her thirties and reminds Danny of his sister Claire which makes him a little less anxious. She’s also career Air Force, though, which means she’s not crazy about breaking the rules. It’s only because she really respects the way Faulkner always goes the extra mile that she agrees which is how Danny winds up in a small glass-fronted room pacing and biting his bottom lip and trying not to go to the scary places his mind wants to take him to. Just when he’s about to go hunt down Sheila and ask what could possibly be taking so long the room’s sliding glass door whirs open and she comes in.  
  
“They’re wheeling him down the hall now,” she tells Danny. “Do you mind stepping out while we get him settled?”  
  
“Do I have to?”  
  
The shrug she gives him is genuinely apologetic. “I’m really sorry but you do-it’s hospital policy-it will only take a few minutes. “  
  
Danny surprises himself by not putting up a fight.  
  
The second he steps out into the hallway he sees a stretcher being angled backward toward the door. There are too many people around it to  see Steve’s face very well but he catches a glimpse of a tattooed bicep and is so damn glad he’s just about to say something corny like ‘What took you so long?’ when the stretcher rolls closer and he gets his first good look at Steve.  
  
 _Shit._  
  
“Hey buddy,” he whispers, gripping the railing and trying like crazy to keep his voice from giving him away. “You doing okay?”  
  
Steve stares at him blearily like he's not so sure who he's looking at. Even after recognition softens the lines across his forehead it takes him a minute to answer, “I’m… f-fine.”  
  
 _Oh really?_ Okay so his coloring is greyish and his eyes are bloodshot and for Danny’s money he and fine aren’t even in the same universe. Before he can call him on it, Sheila's telling him they need to get Steve settled and gently peeling his fingers off the stretcher and he has no choice but to step back and let them go.  
  
 _So all those pep talks he’s been giving himself?_  
  
Talk about worthless.  
  
He feels kind of sick to his stomach.  
  
It’s not just that Steve looks so wiped out-it’s all the crap on him and around him. His arm is strapped in some kind of contraption that holds it away from his body at a 90’ angle. Blood-filled tubing snaking out of the thing winds its way to a small round container on the stretcher that looks like a mini accordion but sure as hell isn't since it's half filled with blood. Steve's hand and the little bit of his arm that Danny can see is a sickly shade of orange from whatever they used to disinfect it. At first glance it looks like it's smeared with blood.  
  
 _You’d think they could wipe the stuff off before they brought him up._  
  
Danny vows he’s going to do the job himself asap.  
  
On top of Steve’s arm being messed up there are leads coming up out of the neck of his gown that wind across the sheet covering him and connect to a beeping monitor at the foot of the stretcher. The way some guy in scrubs and a white coat is frowning at the thing only makes Danny feel worse.  
  
And it doesn’t’ stop there. Instead of the one IV bag he left with now Steve has a whole collection of them hanging over him. One is small with a glass vial attached to it; one is half filled with clear fluid and looks the one he left with. It’s the last one that makes Danny’s stomach clinch. _He needs blood? Really?_  
  
Finally there's tubing under his nose that's leads to an oxygen tank on the side of the stretcher and clear tubing coming out from under the sheet that leads to a bag also hooked to the side of the stretcher. Danny cringes when he sees the bag.  
  
 _It was just shoulder surgery for God’s sake._  
  
As soon as they move past Danny Steve closes his eyes and keeps them that way. Danny doesn’t blame him. He watches all the activity in the room through its still open sliding glass door and knows Steve has to be hating this so much. Perfect strangers are crowded around him and talking to him and about him and _oh great_ , now one of them is whisking the sheet off of him. Danny shivers out of sympathy. _Do they not see that his damn gown is bunched up around his middle and barely covering what it needs to?_ It’s all Danny can do not to call into the room. He watches two attendants, one burly and one barely eighteen roll the stretcher beside the bed. After they lock its wheels the burly one goes around to the other side of the bed and reaches over toward Steve. Sheila tells them to be careful and watch out for his arm. She even positions herself next to the stretcher and holds onto the contraption it’s in to protect it. Nodding that they get it, the attendants grab hold of a sheet lying crosswise under Steve; count to three and then heave him over onto the bed. The instant they move him his eyes fly open and his mouth forms a shocked O. It's like he touched a live wire.  
  
“I said careful!” Sheila snaps. Then in a softer voice, “Are you okay Commander?”  
  
“Ye...ah..." he gasps.  
  
“I’m sorry I know that hurt. I can give you some more pain med in just a few minutes, okay?”  
  
Steve barely nods. Danny can tell he's trying to deep breathe his way around the pain; he’s seen that look before. _Why can’t they just give him the damn pain med now?_ He watches with his fingernails digging into his palms as Sheila and a nurse who came up from the OR disconnect the leads from the portable monitor and reconnect them to a bank of monitors on the wall. Then they connect Steve's oxygen tubing to a spigot-like device also on the wall.  
  
 _Do they still not see that jacked up gown?_  
  
They must not. It’s not until Sheila sees Steve shiver that she pulls it down and pulls a sheet up over him. As she's folding the sheet back at his waist she frowns and lays the back of hand across his forehead. “He's still really warm. Did you have him on a temp monitor?”  
  
“Yeah," the other nurse answers, "there’s a sensor on his stomach, lower right side.”  
  
“Whoops, I missed that,” Sheila says, folding back the sheet she just covered Steve with and lifting up his gown so she can find the sensor.  
  
 _Did you have to do that?_ Danny can’t squeeze his eyes shut fast enough. _Holy hell._ All of Steve's glorious junk is out on display. Yeah, he’s fantasized about it more times than he can count but no way is this how he wanted his first introduction to happen.  
  
No way in hell.  
  
“There you are,” Sheila says grabbing an insulated wire lead attached to the sensor.  
  
 _And somehow caught under Steve?_  
  
Danny shakes his head. _Could the guy catch just one break?_  
  
“Lift your bottom up for me for just a second, sir." Sheila says tugging on the lead.  
  
Steve does it with a pained grunt. Danny could swear his chest and neck flush as he rises up off the bed. As soon as Sheila gets the lead free she pulls his gown down and the sheet back up.  
  
 _Thank you._  
  
Danny’s relief is short lived. Sheila plugs the lead into one of the wall monitors and instantly red numbers start flashing. When the flashing stops a steady red thirty-nine is displayed.  
  
“That’s what he was right before we came up. I gave him acetaminophen-650 mg times one about a half hour ago.”  
  
Danny’s head is spinning.  
  
 _So that’s his temperature?  
  
What’s it in English god damn it?_  
  
He want’s everyone out of the room right now. He wants Steve to have that pain pump that Faulkner talked about and he want’s him to be loopy and silly like he was last night. By the time Sheila looks over and nods for him to come in his hands are in tight fists and his stomach is in a knot.  
  
 _This?_  
  
No way is this how things are supposed to be going.  
  
_______~__________  
  
“So you feeling a little better?”  
  
“I’m…. go-od.”  
  
“Good? That's great news. I’m glad to hear it.” It’s bullshit, of course, but Danny’s okay with letting Steve lie. He’s so damn grateful that they’ve given him enough pain med to make him comfortable and everyone’s finally cleared out of the room that he’d let him get away with just about anything. “So Chin is on his way over,” he tells him so he won’t be surprised.  
  
Steve closes his eyes and says nothing.  
  
“What? You don’t like the idea?”  
  
“No I ... I don’t …I don't care.”  
  
“Let me see. I'm guessing you probably just want to be left alone. Am I right?”  
  
He doesn’t open his eyes but it looks like his shoulders relax a little. “That'd be… nice.”  
  
“Okay I’ll do just that-I’ll just park my butt in this comfy recliner and read the sports section and ignore you, how about that? You won't even know I'm here."  
  
The lines on Steve's face soften just a little, “I’m … sorry D-I know you’re only trying to…”  
  
“Hush-no need to apologize-I’m copacetic with letting you float off to la la land on your very wonderful drugs. Now leave me alone and let me read how my very unlucky basketball team is doing.”  
  
Steve frowns at him blearily. It’s straight up little boy confusion and it does something to Danny’s insides. This time something good. “The Nets you dummy, you know, the team that used to have an honorable name as in the New Jersey Nets but now is stigmatized for life with a name that sounds more like a dance team as in the Brooklyn Nets.“  
  
Exhaustion and narcotics make it a struggle to huff a little laugh and give Danny the weak smile that Steve does. It’s worth the effort though. Danny laughs back and they smile at each other and for a few seconds something special is going on between them that can’t quite be put into words. Steve gives Danny a little, ‘look at us’ huff and then with no warning all hell breaks loose and the huff turns traitor and morphs into a violent coughing fit. Even with pain meds on board he grimaces each time his shoulders heave.  
  
"Hey buddy, you okay?"  
  
Wracked with pain Steve holds his breath, trying not to cough and doesn't answer which of course has Danny up out of his chair and leaning over him in about a nanosecond. "Steve!"  
  
Not that they need it, but an alarm goes off behind Steve. Sheila’s already running into the room. The second she heard Danny yell ‘Steve!’ she knew something was wrong; the goose bumps on her arm warned her how wrong. "What's up, Commander?" she asks, keeping her voice calm and already getting her answer from the monitors behind Steve.  
  
"J-ust cough-ing," he chokes out.  
  
"Well your sats are down a little, let's give you a little more oxygen and see it that helps." After she increases the flow rate she grabs the stethoscope from around her neck and listens to Steve's chest. It’s not easy to because she can’t roll him on his side without causing pain. Still, she hears enough. "You sound pretty junky,” she says, putting the stethoscope back around her neck. I'm going to have the respiratory folks come give you a breathing treatment.  
  
The coughing has  all but subsided by now. "I don't... need it. I'm... fine."  
  
Danny's about to correct Steve but she beats him to it. "Well that little clip on your finger is telling me different. When I walked in here your O2 sat was Eighty-eight." She takes the probe off his finger and slides it on hers, "Now I actually _am_ fine and what do you know." She looks up at the monitor, "Ninety-seven."  
  
It’s just the kind of Steve-the-Science-Guy kind of demonstration he would come up with- the kind you can’t argue against so he closes his eyes and drops his head back against the pillow without a word.  
  
"Don't worry, commander-It'll only take a few minutes and it'll do wonders to help clear your lungs."  
  
"What's wrong with his lungs?"  
  
The pained grimace on Steve's face has nothing to do with his shoulder.  
  
"Hello," Sheila says to the woman in the door. "You must be-”  
  
"Doris McGarrett. Steven’s mother. Now what's this about his lungs?"  
  
"You okay with me updating your mom?” Sheila whispers to Steve.  
  
"Go ahead... she'll find out… anyway." Steve's speech sounds as effort-full as it does because he's holding his breath, hoping to God to keep the cough that’s trying to erupt in his chest from doing it.  
  
Sheila notices and sees one of the monitors flashing. "Come on Commander, take a nice deep breath for me."  
  
"Will someone please answer my question!"  
  
“I’ll answer your question, damn it!" Danny says going over to Doris even though he honestly likes to try and stay as far away from the woman as he can. “So here’s the scoop. Steve’s having a little trouble getting enough oxygen because it seems he aspirated some fluid into his lungs during his surgery-"  
  
"Oh my God!" Doris McGarrett is no drama queen; her hands fly up to her mouth because she’s genuinely scared. She races over to Steve and grabs his hand and gives him a worried look but she turns her attention to Sheila a second later. "That sounds serious. Is he going to be okay?"  
  
With just about the worst timing possible, coughing fit number two wins out against Steve’s best efforts. This one is more violent than the first one and practically doubles him over. It’s pure agony each time his chest and shoulders heave. It only takes seconds for an alarm to go off again. "Do something!" Doris screams. “Do something!”  
  
 _Okay that's it._ Danny’s had enough plus he’s scared which makes for a dangerous combination. “Get away from her!” he yells, pulling Steve’s mother by the wrist. "You need to leave her alone so she can take care of Steve. Do you hear me?"  
  
Ignoring the question and trying to pull her hand away Doris hisses, "Why didn't you tell me about this when you called? You said he was doing fine. Look at him-he can't get his breath!"  
  
"Just calm down! You're not helping him at all. Now get over here.” Danny can hardly believe how angry he sounds as he yanks her across the room.  
  
The good news it that it works.  
  
Shaken, Doris leans against the wall across from Steve and watches him fight for air.  
  
Ignoring everything in the room except her patient and looking worried for the first time since she's been taking care of him, Sheila raises the head of his bed then grabs an oxygen mask from a hook on the wall. As fast as she can she replaces the tubing under his nose with the mask and then ups the O2 rate. "Try to take deep breath- in and then out, nice and slow,” she tells him laying a hand on his chest. "That’s it." Keeping her eyes glued on Steve she flips a switch under an intercom on the wall and leans toward it, "Respiratory Therapy to Room 250 stat!”  
  
Suddenly people Danny has never seen before are racing into the room. One of them has a cart of supplies and in literally seconds has Steve breathing a mixture of powerful medicines via high flow humidified oxygen. After the meds open his airway Steve coughs again-not so much a violent fit this time but more of what they call a productive cough; so productive the therapist has to suction his mouth.  
  
It's not a pretty sight or sound.  
  
Still holding onto to Steve's mother by the wrist-determined to keep her from interfering again, Danny watches Steve struggle not to gag and has to swallow hard himself. When the therapist finally takes the suction catheter out of his mouth Steve drops back against the pillows and lies there, finally breathing normally but looking like he just went ten rounds and lost. His face and hair are damp. His gown is halfway off. All around him of the bed are wrappers and empty vials. It looks like the aftermath of some kind of  crazy storm.  
  
Danny bites his lip and shakes his head.  
  
 _This?_  
  
This really has to stop.


	3. Chapter 3

"So you looking forward to getting out of here?"

Swear to God the glare Steve gives Danny has all the properties of a weapons grade laser. Apparently their years together have imbued Danny with some kind of special protection though because instead of disintegrating he smiles back at Steve.

_Just look at the guy-what else could he do?_

First there’s the contraption strapped around his shoulder that makes it impossible to put a shirt on and leaves him with just a hospital gown draped around his shoulders. Throw in the tousled hair and gorgeous, I-so-hate-this, petulant pout and it’s nothing but a made-in-heaven visual home run. It takes all Danny has not to give into the urge to hug the guy but somehow he manages. “Come on you big lug,” he tells him, gently easing the wheel chair toward the door. “Let’s get you home.”

“Yeah- let’s”

Steve’s raspy voice just about stops him in his tracks. Only one man on the face of the earth can look and sound so grateful and so agonized at the same time.

_His man._

That’s right.

Now it’s official. The niggling but always there in the back of his mind fantasy that he barely let himself dream about has morphed into a full blown, out of this world wonderful reality.

They’re together.

Have a field day, anyone who wants to.

The truth is that after what they’ve been through Danny could care less what anyone thinks. He blinks hard as he pushes the wheelchair out into the hallway wishing his tear ducts would give it a rest.

“Say brah-you’re looking good!”

_Thank God for Kamekona._

The big guy standing outside the doorway holding Grace’s hand is beaming at Steve like he’s an over-sized lunch plate and all eyes naturally go to him which lets Danny brush his fingers across his cheeks before anyone notices anything.

No surprise, Steve gives Kamekona the same laser glare Danny got a minute ago. Good thing it seems the guy has the same thick skin as Danny and doesn’t even flinch. “I’m not kidding, brah, for someone who gave us all such a scare you’re looking mighty healthy. Right, little one?” He turns to Grace, “Doesn’t your Uncle Steve look good?"

“I don’t know- I think he looks kinda… mad?”

Danny can’t help laughing. “He’s not really mad sweetheart, he just wants to get out of here.”

Grace frowns at her dad then turns to Steve, “Uncle Steve, are you really okay- you don’t look happy?”

Unlike everyone else Grace gets a smile from Steve. It’s weak and short lived but it’s definitely a smile. “I’m fine, sweetie. I just want to go home.”

“Because you don’t like it here?”

“Yeah, I pretty much don’t.”

“Why? Were they mean to you?”

“No it wasn’t that- it was just-”

Danny finishes for Steve, “It was just he didn’t feel so great and a lot of people he didn’t know had to work really hard to make him feel better. Your Uncle Steve, well he’s kind of a private guy and that was tough on him. He just wants to get out of here.”

“Oh,” Gracie says, her face brightening as she turns to Steve, “Danno says you’re coming to our house and I can help take care of you.”

“What? No.” The guy looks like he’s been told to put on a pair of silk stockings. “Danny, come on?“

“Don’t get your panties in a knot Steven. It makes absolute sense. You can’t be alone and I'm the only one willing to look after you. It’s easier to do at my place –you know so I don’t have to uproot Grace and all.”

“Danny-”

“You know I’m right, now just be quiet.”

“Fine. Can we please just leave?”

“We are leaving. See. Look at all the nice nurses waving goodbye.”

Sure enough at least five nurses are smiling and waving from the nurse’s station they’re about to roll past. Sheila is one of them. “Take care Commander,” she calls to Steve.

“We’ll miss you,” the blonde next to her says.

“Bye-bye, good luck,” two others say in unison.

The way each good wish makes Steve cringe has Danny fighting not to laugh out loud.

Could the goof be more of a goof?

As they wait for the elevator Danny’s mind wanders back over the past week and he shakes his head.

_Okay that’s one he never wants to repeat._

_Ever._  
_____~______

_Seven days ago…_

“Where are you going Danny?”

“To the waiting room. You heard them-this will take fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Doris says staring into Steve’s room at the group gathered around his bed. “They might not let me stay in the room but I sure as hell can make sure he’s okay from out here.” As soon as she says it a nurse hits a switch by the door. Suddenly vertical blinds slide across the glass door fronting his room.

“Then again,” she says grimly, “maybe I can’t.”

“Look he’s going to be fine-it’s just a simple procedure-you heard them. Come on, there’s coffee in the waiting room and I need to track down Chin.”

Doris follows Danny but when he stays quiet she says, “I know you’re mad at me. I’m sorry. I was a little out of control in there. It was just that-”

“You were worried. I know.”

“Is there any chance we could call a truce?”

“There’s no need for one if we both just agree to behave calmly and rationally.”

“I’ll do my best but calm and rationale kind of desert me when Steve suddenly looks the way he did.”

“I get that. And just to let you know, I wasn’t lying to you when I called and said he was fine. He got worse fast. When I called he wasn’t having any problems breathing-swear to God.”

“I believe you Danny-I just needed someone to be mad at.”

“Well that I actually do get.”

They’ve reached the family lounge and head for the coffee bar. It’s got one of the new kind of coffee makers that Danny’s only just figuring out and Doris hasn’t ever seen before so it takes a few minutes before they each have a cup of coffee and can go sit down.

“So once they get results from this bronchial lavage,” Doris says after her first sip, “they’ll know exactly what antibiotic to give him?”

“That’s what they say.”

“How do we know any of these doctors are any good, Danny?”

“I asked myself the same question and did some homework. Everything I was able to turn up on Faulkner was good so I figure I can trust the docs he trusts.”

“I’m not so sure I see it that w-way.”

Danny catches the way her voice cracks. He sees the gut churning fear on her face and suddenly pissed off isn’t what he’s feeling. Not any more. “Look, from everything I was able to figure out-this is a damn good hospital-they do good things here. Let’s give them a chance.”

“Okay. I guess we really don’t have much choice.”

“Hey.” Chin’s voice coming from the doorway startles both of them.“Why are you guys in here and not with Steve?”

“Come on and join us-they kicked us out of his room to do a procedure.”

“What kind of procedure?”

“They want to get a sample of whatever bacteria wound up in his lungs and analyze it so they know exactly what it’s going to take to kill it.”

“Wait a minute you said they were just being cautious-that he was fine when you called me-what’s going on?”

“What’s going on is that right after I hung up with you, Steve started coughing like a son of a bitch. It was like he was trying to hack up a lung.”

“And all this is all because of the anesthesia?”

“Because of the stuff he sucked down into his lungs while he was under anesthesia to be exact.”

“Man-goes to show even simple surgery isn’t so simple.”

“You got that right. Look you better try reaching Kono and Catherine. They need to know what’s going on- I’m sure they’ll want to be here.”

“Can I use my cell phone in here?”

“Yeah but the reception sucks. If you go out in the hall and stand by the window it’s a lot better.”

Chin’s already on his way out the door. They watch him go without saying anything; each of them sipping their coffee.

“Jesus,” Danny says looking around the waiting room. “Can you believe it. Shoulder surgery and he winds up in the ICU.”

“Is that where we are?”

“A step down from it actually but it’s still not any kind of place I want him in.”

“Me either.”

Danny shakes his head. He can’t help it-the words just spill out, “This isn’t the same thing as what that Muppet guy had, you know.”

“I’m sorry. What guy?”

“You know the guy who created Sesame Street.”

“Do you mean Jim Henson?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”

“Christ it was in the headlines everywhere.”

“Until recently I haven’t been reading many headlines.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. So a few years ago Henson showed up at a hospital feeling bad and wound up dead the next day-it was pneumonia. My sick head couldn’t stop going there so I grilled Faulkner and the lung specialist- turns out, thank God, Steve’s case is totally different. Henson was sick for a while but didn’t come in-by the time he showed up it was too late. It’s all different with Steve-they’ve known about this pneumonia from the get-go- they’re already hitting him with heavy duty drugs-he’s going to beat this thing-you just watch.”

“Come here, Danny.” Doris slides over next to him and puts her arm around him, “You’re right. Steve is going to beat this. He’s stronger and more stubborn than any man I know including his father.”

“Stubborn? You think so?” Danny smirks.

“A little bit.”

“Yeah maybe a little bit,” he says smiling.

“He’s also very lucky to have you in his court, you know?”

“Well I kinda feel that way about him too so he… he damn well better be okay-" Danny has to stop because his voice cracks and his eyes get watery. What the hell?

“He _is_ going to be okay,” Doris says rubbing his back. “You hear me?”

“Yeah, I hear you. I just hope your stubborn son hears you.”

_____~_______

 

It’s a good half hour before they can go back into Steve’s room. Only two visitors are allowed at a time and since Chin hasn’t seen Steve yet Danny takes him along. Doris tries to protest but with one look he lets her know not to waste her breath. Steve must have gotten a pretty good dose of pain meds after the procedure because he’s totally out of it when they tiptoe in. Chin says nothing as he looks around the room and then at Steve. For a few seconds the only sound is the hiss of oxygen and the beep of a cardiac monitor. It’s almost painful to watch how effortful each breath Steve takes is. For a few minutes they both sit and just watch him.

“Wow,” I can’t believe this,” Chin finally says.

“You and me both.”

“He’s going to be okay, Danny.”

“I sure as hell hope so.”

“Wha…huh.” Steve surprises them by waking up or at least trying to. He blinks hard and stares blearily at the ceiling before he slowly turns to focus on them. Before either of them even asks, he whispers, “I’m … okay.”

It’s hard to make out what he said because of the oxygen mask but they both get the gist of it. Given that he's flushed and feverish and surrounded by equipment it's hard not laugh. Danny shakes his head at him. Chin is more tolerant. “Good to hear, brah. We're worried about you.”

Exhausted by his two word pronouncement Steve closes his eyes. It’s pretty clear he’s not up for any conversation. Danny reaches over and brushes his fingers over his forehead, “So just to let you know, they’re figuring out what antibiotic to put you on so we can get your ass out of here.”

Without opening his eyes he says, “Good," and then licks his lips, frowning.

“You thirsty? I got ice water.”

He swallows and nods yes.

Danny grabs the mug like pitcher filled with ice water and brings it toward Steve’s mouth. On the other side of him, Chin pulls the oxygen mask away from his face so he can suck on the mug’s straw. Just two sips later he lays his head back and whispers, “Thanks”

“Don’t mention it. “

Then it happens. As stealth as the aircraft Steve relied on as a SEAL, a coughing fit ambushes him. His eyes fly open as it racks his body. Instinctively he reaches for his shoulder to try and immobilize it.

Danny and Chin watch helplessly-Chin laying a hand on Steve’s back as if that might help. Before Danny can hit the call button the door whirs open and a nurse hurries in. Eyeing the monitors above Steve she crosses the room and asks, “How long has he been coughing?”

“It just started,” Danny answers.

“Do you need suction?” she asks Steve.

He looks at her with a fierce grimace shaking his head no.

She nods and grabs a stethoscope to listen to his chest. “You still sound pretty junky,” is her verdict. “Let’s get another neb treatment –that should help.”

Knowing how much he hates the treatments, Danny waits for one of Steve’s idiotic ‘thanks but no thanks’. When he doesn’t get it he stares at him, a little confused. The way Steve lets his head sink back into the pillow and closes his eyes looks like he’s either too exhausted to pitch his usual fit or knows how badly he needs the treatment. Either choice scares the crap out of Danny. He looks at Chin and wonders how in the world the guy stays so calm.

It’s like Chin reads his mind. “I know this is especially hard on you Danny. I wish I could do something to help.”

“It’s hard on all of us-what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

_Chin knows?_

All Danny can do is stare at him with his mouth open. He’s almost grateful when the respiratory therapist shows up and asks them to wait out in the hallway.

Unfortunately, Chin’s not backing down. “Come on Danny, I’m pretty good at reading people and from what I see, you’ve got feelings for Steve that go way beyond friendship.”

For some reason he doesn’t deny it. “Anyone else think the way you do?”

“Only Kono as far as I know.”

“Jesus. So what do you guys think? That I’m pretty messed up?”

“Only thing messed up is the way both you and Steve tip toe around the damn elephant in the room.”

“Me _and_ Steve? You mean?”

“That’s right he’s had his eye on you from the minute he met you. You two would make one hell of a couple except neither of you has the kahunas to admit his feelings. Why Danny? Is this the first time you’ve had feelings for a man?”

“Jesus. I’m going to need one of those crash carts if you keep this line of questioning up.”

“Answer me Danny. Please.”

“Yeah it’s the first time for one thing and for another, as far as I can tell Steve is a 100% male Navy SEAL-you expect me to lay my weird as hell feelings out on the line to someone like that?”

Chin chuckles softly, “You’re not the first one he’s fooled, brah. Steve’s _preferences_ , shall we say, are well guarded but they definitely would include you if you wanted them to.”

“You got to be shitting me. What about Catherine?”

“Friends with benefits my friend. Those two came up with the concept before there even was a name for it. I also think Steve likes the way being with Catherine fools everyone-just the way it fooled you.”

“So you think Steve would be interested in-“

“I don’t think Danny. I know. He confides in me- remember, we go way back. He just didn’t know with 100 % certainty that the feeling was mutual. I swear I’ve almost lost it with the two of you more than once. This scare he’s giving us finally did the trick. I'm done biting my tongue. Life’s too short and too precious. I see how terrified you are of losing him. You've got to be honest – you've got to have the guts to go for what you want in life. There. I’ve said my piece. It’s up to you now.”

Danny thinks about the incredible things he’s just heard and is about to say something along the lines of he’s going to come clean with Steve as soon as he’s feeling better. What is it they say about the best laid plans of mice and men? Before he can get a word out a high-pitched alarm goes off in Steve’s room. The next thing Danny hears flat out terrifies him.

“Code team to room 214-respiratory arrest!”

It reminds him of a swat team descending on a target the way people in scrubs and white coats come flying down the hallway. One woman is pushing an ominous looking piece of equipment that he recognizes as a ventilator. Both he and Chin crowd up against the glass wall that fronts Steve’s room. No one is worried about privacy-the blinds stay open.

Looking back on it Danny almost wishes they hadn’t.

What he sees through the glass is like the accident on the highway you can’t look away from. Steve is fighting frantically to get his breath. Veins stand out on the sides of his neck like thick cords and his eyes are wide and terrified. Disoriented from too little oxygen he’s batting at anything coming toward his face with his good arm. He even tries to lift his other arm until what looks like searing pain stops him.

“Get it a-way!” he gasps, trying to push the oxygen mask away from his nose and mouth.

“We’re going to have to intubate him,” Danny hears.

“Lower the head of the bed,” He hears as he watches Steve fight off the hands that are trying to force him to lay flat. For one agonizing second they locks eyes . It’s the first time he’s ever seen what he sees on Steve's face in all the time he’s known him.

Pure fear.

“Propofol 150 milligrams IV push,” he hears and a milky white liquid is injected into Steve’s IV tubing. It’s like someone flipped a switch the way Steve suddenly goes still and his eyes close. It’s like he died. Danny presses his fingernails into his palms, telling himself that it’s okay that now they can finally help him.

“Succinylcholine –I’m going with 85 milligrams.” Danny hates the uncertainty he hears as he watches a large syringe of clear fluid being emptied into Steve’s IV.

“God help him; please help him," Chin murmurs.

Danny looks over at him. It’s only the second time he’s ever seen fear like he’s seeing on his face.

Everything’s moving way too fast and not nearly fast enough. The alarm seems to be getting louder – a man in a white coat pushes Steve’s bed out from the wall and wedges himself behind it. All of a sudden he’s sliding a sinister looking L shaped piece of metal into Steve’s mouth and then further down his throat. Even unconscious, Steve fights the intrusion. There’s sweat on the man’s forehead and he’s hissing “Shit!” each time he tries to forward the thing and to withdraw it and change his angle of approach. It’s all Danny can do not to scream for someone who knows what he’s doing to get in there.

Even though it feels like forever, Steve’s successfully intubated in just a few minutes. It takes a lot longer before Danny feels like he can take a deep breath. Even then it’s not like he’s at all happy witht the situation. Steve's breathing without effort courtesy of the tube down his throat but he fights the thing ferociously whenever he starts to resurface which means they’re keeping him sedated with a steady infusion of that milky white stuff.

And that’s a bad thing. At least to Danny it is. The two of them need to talk.

“Hey, Chin," Steve's mom standing in the doorway re-directs Danny's thoughts. "Is there any chance I could relieve you?” she asks.

Chin jumps up right away to trade places with her. He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she settles into the plastic chair he just vacated. “He’s holding his own,” he whispers to her, “no change.”

“So I hear. Thanks.”

“Stay as long as you’d like. I’ll be in the waiting room.”

“Be prepared,” she tells him. Kamekona bought enough food to feed an army.”

Chin chuckles softly and gives Danny a nod before he leaves, “I’ll save some for you brah.”

“Sure fine.” Danny answers absently. He doesn’t need food; he feels like he’d be sick if he even tried to eat. What he needs, the only thing he needs is for Steve to be okay.  
______~______

_'Go ahead and talk to him, he’ll know you’re there.'_

Steve’s nurse had encouraged him more than once but Danny isn’t all that sure she knows what she’s talking about. The only way for Steve to be as calm as he is is for him to be sedated to the max. Danny stares at his chest rising and falling and then lets his eyes wander upward stopping when he gets to the breathing tube.

There is something so wrong with what he’s seeing.

This is McGarrett, he wants to scream. He just had his stupid shoulder fixed. No way he should need a God damn machine to breathe for him.

He looks over at Chin who’s fallen asleep in the room’s only comfortable chair and envies him that sleep is an option. Fine, he decides. Doing something-doing anything would feel better than this. Standing up and leaning over the bed-rail he takes the folded washcloth from Steve’s forehead. It feels way too warm. Looking around he spots a basin of water on the bedside table and re-wets the cloth. Instead of wringing it out and putting it back he leaves it in the basin and focuses his attention on Steve. As sick as the guy is, his good looks are still undeniable. Danny reaches tentatively toward his forehead, then gaining confidence, runs his fingers over it. “So are you about ready to kick this fever’s ass?” he asks softly. The heat radiating off Steve answers the question. “Soon babe, okay?” he half asks, half begs.

Steve's hair is damp and messy. “Look at you-I can’t take you anywhere,” Danny teases carding his fingers through it. As they brush over his scalp it almost looks like Steve relaxes a little. It’s a barely perceptible change-Danny's not even sure it really happened, but it’s enough to make him keep going. “You like this TLC, huh?” he murmurs, leaning in close enough to brush his lips over Steve’s forehead.

Chin’s asleep; Steve’s totally out of it. _Why not?_

“Well I got news for you babe, there’s a whole lot more than just this waiting for you.” Continuing to gently massage Steve’s scalp Danny takes a deep breath. The words tumble out before he knows it, “You know there’s going to be some big changes when I get you home,” he says. Thing is, I’ve kinda been holding out on you. Call me insane but for some reason you with that man of steel body of yours have gotten under my skin big time. I tried to fight it-I really did. I mean hell-I was a married man only a short while ago. I have a kid, for God’s sake.”

Suddenly it’s very important for Danny to study Steve’s face. He stops talking and runs his finger over each eyebrow and then traces the arc of each sctubbled cheek. So damn gorgeous.

It’s like he’s a kid in a candy shop and no one’s behind the counter. The candy isn't just delicious-apparently it's a little magical too given the way it makes Danny open up. "The thing is, you with this GQ meets Rambo face of yours and that infuriating, ‘I’m always right,’ thing you’ve got going, have wormed your way into my heart big time. Look at me-I can’t take my eyes off of you; hell I even see you in my sleep.” Danny circles his fingers through Steve’s hair, adding just a little more pressure-just the way he loves to have his own scalp massaged. Maybe he imagines it but he thinks he sees Steve’s eyelids flutter. It’s only for a second and they’re still when he takes a closer look. Watching him carefully he continues, “So what do you think of that, huh? Only reason I’m bringing this crazy stuff up is I heard a wild rumor that you might actually, and trust me babe, this blows me away, have feelings for me like I have for you?”

He stares at Steve’s chest, moving as the ventilator commands and wants like crazy to disconnect the damn thing. His fingers continue through Steve’s hair, moving rhythmically with his voice. “Now, if that were true, it would be just about the best thing, besides Grace of course, that could ever happen to me. I’m just so sorry I waited this long to tell you-that you had to go and get sick like this to jumpstart my cowardly ass and make me open my mouth.” Danny’s voice cracks. “I’m pretty much begging you to p-please, beat this thing so that you and I can get on with what we should already have been doing for a long time.”

For a second he can’t go on.

What’s that saying about no atheists in foxholes? He can’t remember it but he sure as hell feels like he’s in a foxhole and he hopes like crazy God is on his side. Tears blur his eyes as he chokes out, “I don’t just want to make love to you, babe, I want to make breakfast for you afterward and dinner too. I want to explore this island with you-hell, I’ll even swim with you. I want to buy groceries and fix our cars together. And I want you in Grace’s life. But for any of that to happen you’ve got to be okay-you’ve got to b-beat this thing.”

The sob he’s been fighting for so long finally wins out.

It’s like a hurricane that sucks all the wind out of him; all he can do is lay his head on Steve’s chest. As much as he tries to muffle them his sobs wake up Chin.

“It’s okay Danny, let it out,” Chin says after he tiptoes over and lays his hand on Danny’s back. He stays next to him, rubbing his back until the worst of it is over.

When Danny straightens up his face is red and tear-streaked but he’s unembarrassed. “Well I did it,” he says reaching for a tissue. “I told him everything.”

“Good brah. That will help him get better faster than anything.”

“I kinda think he’d have to hear me for it to do any good.”

“Oh I think he heard you.”

Danny blows his nose, “Oh you do, do you?”

“I do.” Chin nods toward Steve, “Why else do you think he could use one of those tissues too?”

Frowning, Danny leans in for a better look. A tear is slowly trickling down Steve’s cheek. “Oh man, I sure hope you’re right.” As he wipes the tear away he whispers to Steve, “So did you hear me babe? Did you?”

“His heart heard you Danny,” Chin says putting his arm around Danny. “And his body is going to do everything it can so he can hear you tell him again.”

They both stare down at Steve, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Eventually without realizing it, they are breathing at the same rate he is. Without saying anything Chin reaches for Danny’s hand; Danny takes hold of Steve’s.

Neither Danny or Chin are church goers but Danny was raised in the Catholic church and still treasures the few things that it got right. As for Chin, he ends every one of his nightly meditations by asking the force that created all things to keep his loved ones and himself safe. They might not sit in pews or put money in offering plates but both of them know how to pray from the heart and that’s what they do as they stand beside Steve’s bed.

______~_______

Was it Danny’s confession?

Or, the cocktail of antibiotics in Steve’s IV?

Or, the power of prayer?

Who knows what finally turned things around for Steve?

Who cares?

Certainly not Danny who’s first scared silly but then smiling stupidly at Steve when they pull the breathing tube and after a few minutes he’s doing fine with just a little oxygen from the tubing under his nose. As soon as the doctor and Steve’s nurse leave them alone he says to Steve with a nod toward the ventilator, “Well there you go- sure looks like you didn’t need that thing anymore.”

“I… n-never needed it.”

“You what?” Danny's eyes go wide and he almost laughs, but then he catches himself. Let the goof be a goof. “You’re right Steven,” he says waving his hand at all the equipment around them, “All this stuff here? Pure over-kill.”

Lt. Commander McDenial nods his agreement.

“So do you remember much of the past few days?”

Steve frowns, “Not much. How long have I been out?”

“Nearly five days. The day after your surgery was when they had to stick that breathing tube down your throat.”

Steve grimaces, “Never again.”

“You got that right. In fact I’m making you sign a sworn statement to that effect.”

Steve’s expression softens. He shifts against the pillows pressing back against the mattress so he can sit up straighter. The movement makes him wince but only for a few seconds. As soon as he recovers he smiles at Danny. “You know I do remember a few things…”

“Oh you do? Like what?”

“I had the most vivid dreams for one thing.”

“You remember what they were about?”

“A lot of them were about my Dad. He was alive and so real –we were walking I don’t know where we were but he was giving me advice and telling me he was so proud of me.”

“Wow,” Danny says. “That’s pretty amazing you remember anything given the boatload of drugs it took to knock you out.” He grins, “Just to let you know, in my mind that’s exactly what your old man would be telling you if he were around.”

Steve nods swallowing hard. Suddenly he grimaces.

“What’s wrong?”

“Throat’s… just a little sore.”

“Well I got something for that.” Danny reaches for a cup of ice chips from the bedside table. “Here you go, just one or two at first.” He fills the spoon and brings it toward Steve’s mouth.

“I can do it my-“

“Shut up and open your mouth.”

After Steve takes the ice and sucks on it he swallows and relaxes back against the pillow.

“Better?”

“Yeah, thanks,” he says looking at Danny a little quizzically which is enough to make Danny’s heart go into overdrive.

“What?”

“So was my mom around a lot? I kind of remember hearing her voice. She sounded just like she did when I was a kid and was sick. I loved the way she could always make me feel better.”

“Yep. Doris put in quite a few hours in that very chair.” Danny nods at the plastic chair on the other side of the bed. “I got to say she was really worried about you, buddy. Only reason she’s not here now is she was finally so exhausted Kono forced her to lay down in the waiting room. Be prepared though-she’ll resurface soon.”

“I’ll be ready.”

They’re both quiet for a few seconds. Danny thinks maybe Steve is about to drift off because he closes his eyes. “Am I boring you?” he asks softly to check.

“No... I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know if it was real or a dream.”

“What?”

“What you said to me.”

Danny breath hitches in his throat; his palms are instantly clammy, “I uh…I said lots of things to try and encourage you to stop lying there like a lazy bum-”

“Yeah but there was one thing.” Steve locks those steel grey eyes of his with Danny’s. “About us.”

It’s like the room around them recedes; like there’s just the two of them and nothing else. “So you did hear me, ” Danny whispers.

“I did.” Steve says, biting his lip. “And I wanted so badly to tell you... t-that I felt the same way.”

“Really, babe?”

“Really,” Steve smiles as a tear spills down his cheek.

Suddenly it’s contagious. Danny’s vision is blurred and his cheeks are wet but he could give a damn because he’s finding a way to put his arms around Steve without hurting him and kissing him and laughing that funny little laugh of his and he’s pretty sure there are no two happier souls on the face of the earth than he and his irritating, loveable, never-going-to-scare-him-like-this-again guy.


End file.
